Soberish: Drinking Less Without Going Completely Dry

Feb 1

5 min read

Pulling from a recent piece in the Times, a growing number of people have embraced the idea of being soberish—a flexible, individualized approach to reducing alcohol consumption without necessarily committing to complete sobriety. This movement, sometimes referred to as sober curious, acknowledges that not everyone who wants to change their drinking habits identifies as having a problem with alcohol. Instead, many are reevaluating their relationship with drinking due to health concerns, mental well-being, or a simple desire to feel better.

What Does Soberish Mean?

For some, soberish means cutting back on alcohol and being more mindful of when and why they drink. For others, it might mean avoiding alcohol altogether but still consuming other substances. "Cali sober", where alcohol is cut out but cannabis is left on the menu, is a well-known example of this approach. Unlike traditional sobriety models, which often promote complete abstinence, the soberish movement recognizes that moderation can also be a valid and beneficial goal.

The idea has gained traction through social media accounts, podcasts like Soberish Uprising, and apps designed to help people track and reduce their alcohol intake. People adopting a soberish lifestyle often experiment with non-alcoholic alternatives, set limits on drinking, or avoid alcohol in certain situations while allowing occasional consumption in others.

This perspective challenges the all-or-nothing mentality often associated with alcohol use. As soberish advocate Katie Nessel puts it, “The hard truth is complete sobriety is going to be a nonstarter for people who just want to cut back. That all-or-nothing approach means most people are going to do nothing and continue drinking for a long time.” At times this is an introduction to cutting back which leads on to full abstinence over time, but not always.

The Science: Why Cutting Back Still Matters

Decades of research have reinforced the idea that no amount of alcohol is good for you. While moderate drinking was once thought to have health benefits, newer studies show that even small amounts of alcohol increase risks for various diseases, including cancer, liver disease, and cardiovascular problems.

However, experts also emphasize that reducing alcohol intake—even without quitting entirely—can still lead to meaningful health improvements. Studies have shown that drinking less can:

Lower blood pressure
Improve liver function
Reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease
Improve mental health and reduce anxiety
Enhance sleep quality

Keith Humphreys, a drug policy expert at Stanford University, compares this approach to weight loss: “A slight decrease is still a benefit, and it’s OK to shoot for that, rather than the potentially demoralizing goal of, ‘I have to have perfection right away.’” I think this is a good analogy: very few people can go from zero exercise to running a marathon overnight, but can still build up to high levels of physical fitness through incremental increases in their level of activity.

Why Some People Choose Soberish Over Sobriety

For individuals with severe alcohol use disorder, complete sobriety is often the safest and most effective option. People who struggle with intense cravings, loss of control, or significant consequences from drinking may find that abstinence is necessary to rebuild their lives. Many of these people have tried cutting back and found it hard or impossible to exert any control over their alcohol consumption.

But for many others—those who experience occasional binge drinking, drink more than they’d like, or simply want to feel healthier—moderation can be a more sustainable goal. The soberish mindset acknowledges that not everyone who drinks heavily develops an addiction, and not everyone who wants to cut back needs to adhere to a strict recovery program.

The Times article mentions a couple of individuals who ascribe to this model of sobriety, with different results: one, who struggled with alcohol during the COVID-19 pandemic, started out with a soberish approach before ultimately deciding that full sobriety was best for her. Others find that flexibility works better than rigid rules, allowing them to alternate between periods of complete abstinence and mindful moderation.

Harm Reduction and Soberish: A Practical Approach

Harm reduction—a public health approach that prioritizes reducing the negative effects of substance use rather than demanding total abstinence—aligns closely with the soberish philosophy. In my work with Hazelden Betty Ford, which operates on an abstinence model of recovery, some of my patients struggle to stay sober but enjoy group therapy and other aspects of treatment and don't want to have to lose these. In these cases I am able to refer them out to harm reduction/moderation management programs, such as The Addiction Institute at New York's Mt. Sinai hospital network, that allow people to participate in outpatient treatment while being more flexible about their consumption of substances.

Traditionally, addiction treatment has centered around the idea that quitting entirely is the only path to recovery. However, as our understanding of substance use evolves, many experts now advocate for more individualized approaches. Harm reduction acknowledges that not everyone is ready—or needs—to give up alcohol completely, and that even small reductions in drinking can lead to significant health benefits.

This shift is particularly important given rising alcohol-related deaths and illnesses. Between 1999 and 2020, alcohol-related deaths in the U.S. more than doubled, making it more urgent than ever to offer flexible, realistic ways for people to cut back.

Is Soberish Right for You?

Deciding whether to pursue a soberish lifestyle or full sobriety is a deeply personal choice. If you’ve experienced significant consequences from drinking, struggle with loss of control, or feel unable to moderate successfully, full sobriety may be the better path. However, if you simply want to cut back, reduce your alcohol-related health risks, and regain a sense of control over your drinking, soberish could be a useful approach.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum, the key is to make conscious, informed choices about alcohol rather than letting habits dictate behavior. Whether that means embracing full sobriety, reducing the number of drinking days, or experimenting with alcohol-free alternatives, any step toward greater mindfulness and intentionality is a positive one.

My Work as a Sober Coach

The soberish movement reflects a broader shift in how we think about alcohol use, moving away from the binary of sober vs. not sober and embracing a more individualized, flexible approach. Whether someone is taking their first steps toward drinking less or exploring total sobriety, the goal is the same: a healthier, more balanced life.

As a sober coach, it is not my job to impose upon you any version of sobriety that has worked for me. Instead, it is to find out what your personal goals are and to facilitate the achievement of those in a validating, non-judgmental way. Whether you are looking to see what life could feel like with a reduced or more managed intake or alcohol or substances, or you are determined that full abstinence is for you, I am here to help.